You’re tired. Burnt out. Exhausted. Stressed.
This lowers your capacity for emotional regulation.
You’ll cry more easily. Get dragged into low moods more easily. Simple little things where you’re like ‘dang, that shouldn’t hit so hard,’ will wallop you.
This will trick you into thinking you’re weak and can’t handle life. A loser.
Not so my friend.
It’s a signal that you need a nap, need to allow for more sleep at night, need to prioritize and scale back on what you can accomplish in a day, need to take a mental health day or even a leave.
Something’s got to give.
But!
It’s not your self worth.
(via akindplace)
“The best gift you are ever going to give someone - the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough.”— Hannah Brechner
I quit.
I have finally found the courage to quit my job, in a midst of stressful period. In my opinion, I feel like I’ve made the right choice. My job has been taking a toll on my mental health alot to the point that I hate it so much. But I have to say, most of the people I’ve known there were really nice to me and for that, I am truly and immensely grateful. For the most part, I dislike my job scope and some of the systems used for my work processes. My bosses? Idk, how do I put this.. I dont really feel like my bosses understand where Im coming from. I ever told them that Im not good with changes. However, when I told one of my bosses that I found a new job, instead of feeling genuinely happy for me, she started questioning my decision to leave. I know changes are inevitable and there are bound to be changes in every workplaces but in my current workplace? It’s just too many changes at once. With the renovations and the adhoc works Im required to do during this juncture, it is stressful for me. I dont like the fact that my supervisor is a close friend of my boss. It’s like working in a family business where everybody is a family member instead of a team member. I dont understand the culture and I dont want to be a part of it. Nothing makes sense to me. Like why is everyone close friends with one another? Eventhough I was not a big fan of making friends with my colleagues, I’ve learnt that I need to. Otherwise, I couldn’t survive in this horrid workplace. Hence, I made friends with friend no. 1 - H. She was one of the few people I got close with when I first started working at this workplace. It was my 3rd month if im not mistaken, when she first joined. I was already a confirmed staff so I was able to apply leave on some days. Other days, I am working from home so we connected mostly through whatsapp text messages. Also, she is the first friend I had so called a trauma bond with. We had a similar experience. We were low-key bullied by our supervisors but both of our supervisors always go unnoticed. & why is that? Because they are friends with my manager. I sound like I’m bull$hitting, aren’t I? But it’s the truth. Second friend - let’s call her C. She resigned after 1 year. Honestly, I didn’t really trust her at first judging by the way she talked to my supervisor. They seemed super close so I started doubting her at first. It turns out that, she also had an issue w my supervisor and some teachers , which led her to quit. 3rd friend - J. She was one of the friends I could keep. Not long after I got close to her, she was transferred to Toa Payoh due to health reasons (sounds like an utter bull$hit & ridiculous, if you ask me. How can they only realise it now that her health is truly affecting her work?? Doesn’t make sense to me). Fourth friend? - F. She was an unexpected friend. I didnt trust her at first but she turns out to be really nice eventhough she talks alot. I think she has a huge heart too. Always on a lookout to help people. She is the only friend that I have for now. She wants to quit soon too.
Truthfully speaking, I felt as though as I am gaslighted the whole time. I spoke to my manager before about my experience with my supervisor. So this basically happens in a whatsapp text messages. She was instructing me to text some of the parents and I texted 1 parent (whom I was not supposed to text) by accident because apparently, this client has a case WHICH I wasnt aware of at all. Idk why I wasnt kept in a loop so I had no clue but she started to make me feel guilty over a pathetic mistake? In my defense, I still think that she’s at fault for not keeping me in the loop about this case. I mean if its important enough then I think someone should at least flag it to me or something yknow. Once again, yes, I threw my supervisor under bus because she bullied me. She deserved it. & I think her malicious act deserved to be known by manager. I was naive enough to think that my manager was gonna take my side. I was totaaaally wrong. She didn’t even pick my side. In fact, she somehow let this issue vanish into thin air, as though this didn’t happen before. I do think my manager was totally hiding something from me and there wasn’t any sort of transparency to begin with. It’s really just, so shady. She wasn’t speaking to me at all after I sent out that email. She did reply so I kindda had my closure but there wasnt any follow-up discussion/emotional support from her. I was bullied and nothing was done???? How amazing. I also had an issue with another colleague , G. I seriously think she’s cunning and a sociopath. Why did I say that? Because she was super chill when she texted me. Seconds after that, she immediately texted my manager and asked why I asked when I knew the answer. Actually, I already knew but I was just giving myself the benefit of the doubt. Just incase I’m wrong. Then my manager scolded me afterwards? She was like, “Hey, why did you still ask G when you already knew?” Im like, woah that b*tch just threw me under the bus. Am I surprised, tho? I dont think I am. I already knew how much of a b*tch she was when she first became H’s supervisor. She’s a total b*tch, I hated her for ruining my friend’s career. & because of ALL this experience that I have for the past 1 year and 7 months, I’ve decided to fcuk it and just leave this workplace for GOOD cause I had enough of everyone’s bull$hit.
Goodnight.
Talk to Allah. Tell Him everything that is on your mind and bothering you and ask for guidance and help.
(via flowersofjannah)
Eating toast for dinner instead of cooking is better than not eating anything at all.
Using mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth is better than not taking care of your teeth at all.
Wiping yourself with a damp cloth or baby wipe instead of showering is better than not bathing at all.
Doing only one out of five assignments you need to turn in is better than not submitting anything at all.
Talking to a loved one on the phone is better than not talking to anyone at all.
Playing your favorite video game, listening to good music, or reading a book instead of “grinding” is better than not doing anything at all.
Don’t beat yourself up for not being “productive enough”. A little productivity is still productivity.
